Boy, am I grateful for FaceTime! Since John has arrived at his station we have been able to FaceTime twice a day; when each of us wakes up and goes to bed. Nothing makes me happier than still being able to see that handsome face. It’s like that giddy feeling you get when you’re talking to your new crush. And, Easton gets so excited every time that FaceTime ringer sounds. He loves to see daddy on the iPad! So I know it’s helping him with the transition.
But, at 38 weeks it’s becoming sooo real that a tiny little baby is coming very soon. We are so excited to see Mason’s little face. I cannot wait to hold the tiny squish on my chest; and, smell that sweet newbie smell from his soft little head. And, to see if he’s as squirmy on the outside as he is on the inside. But, I’m more and more aware after every 10 minute chat, that John is gonna miss out on this. That he won’t nervously hold Mason as a fragile newborn. Or, be there for the first roll over. To dress Mason in his favorite shark onesie that big brother wore.
We are so lucky to be doing this in the era of technology! I haven’t had to go any longer than a night’s sleep without talking to him in the two weeks we’ve been apart. And, honestly that makes such a huge difference. I feel truly blessed and lucky, that my husband is deployed in such a place that communication is so consistent. But, it still doesn’t replace touch.
My heart breaks for my husband; as I know he never fathomed he’d miss a birth when he swore in as a 20 year old. But, to be honest… I’m pretty sad for me too. Obviously no one would ever choose this. And, while I am beyond thankful for the friends and family that are here for me, all the babysitters, and the support I have in this transition.The fact that I was able to move home in the first place! John is real home now. I knew he was the The One when I felt that sense of home with him. This is OUR family that we’re building, and HE has to miss a huge milestone in it.
I am so happy to know that our boys will be able to see daddy’s face and hear his voice every day while he’s gone. That he and I get to still see each other. My heart bursts with excitement every day at 8:30, am and pm. And, truly I feel okay in our first couple weeks. I know we will be okay. That the blessing of technology is going to make this time tolerable. But, I am still hoping that the newest Ronan will hold on tight in there, so his daddy has less precious time with him to miss.